how is this so.

the full moon was in the sign libra on monday.  i said to the moon, "i release my fear of being out of control."

after some discussion and deep thought, i rephrased it.  "i release control."

how can it be that such a slight change like that could terrify me so much?  i don't even think of myself as a control freak type of person.  and yet the idea of being out of control causes my heart to pump faster and my nerves to shiver.  but i said the words, and the moon listened.  now i wait for her wisdom, the sagacity that comes with the crone phase of the dark moon.

i should really focus on more meditation practice to help me through this.  i know a lot of my fears are a result of my relationship with him.  but, i have to let that go... somehow.  i can't be responsible for the choices he makes, as crazy as it makes me sometimes.  the moon influences the tides... she doesn't control them.  i need to be working on being more receptive and grounded.