last thursday my husband and i separated. he left, i stayed at the apartment. it has been the week of the
tower. everything has come
undone. the
sun has come and with its light everything that was hidden is now illuminated. i have realized that i have been living in complete illusion. it is almost
unbearable, this transition. but it is what i had to do. i had the epiphany, it struck me...
it's okay to end this. for your sanity, and the health of your soul, you should do it. and it's okay.
of course, the finger points in my face. i'm a bitch, i'm cruel, i never loved him, i'm not even his friend. but none of these things are true. i hope the storm settles soon. in the mean time, i am burning. everything i have been in the past five years is burning away, and i am at the center of the fire, self-gestating. waiting to emerge reborn.
More digital hugs sent your way. I hope the storm settles for you soon too :)
ReplyDeleteOh and love The Legendary Pink Dots' video
thank you, scrybe... you're sweet.
ReplyDeletehow's the film coming?
Pretty well thanks, our next filming dates are next week. So excited.
ReplyDeleteHope you're ok :)
i'm having a rough evening. saw my husband for the first time in almost 2 weeks tonight. we both cried. it's horrible how painful it is for us both, and it's horrible how we can't just... collapse into each others arms. this is quite possibly the worst trauma i have ever known
ReplyDeleteHmmm, what can I say, but that I'm no stranger to trauma. I'm sure you'll make it through; I know that's not much of a help, or consolation right now... Sending some positive energy, across the universe, to you; from Shallow Window to the Red Moon. And this song has been making me smile of late.
ReplyDeletethank you, scrybe. i hope all is well at shallow window. i've not been keeping up with things lately. i'll stop by soon and catch up. <3
ReplyDelete