totem of abundance.

thanksgiving is two days away, and i can hardly believe it. somehow, the past 2 months have evaporated, and the holidays are here.

fortunately, my family will be in town for our annual get together with my husbands family... and we will be enjoying the first thanksgiving dinner my husband and i have ever made. i am super nervous, but also extremely excited, about the preparation of this feast being in my hands.

this year's menu:

roasted turkey with thyme, garlic, onion, and celery
cornbread and hot salsiccia stuffing
roasted butternut squash with parmesean cream sauce
roasted fennel with garlic and kalamata olives
wilted spinach with nutmeg butter
ruby red grapefruit glazed baby carrots with cumin seeds
glazed white pearl onions
cranberries in a cinnamon port reductions

i'm seriously trembling with anticipation... this is going to be a delicious spread.

i feel a deep sense of gratitude for this celebration of abundance and for the Spirit of turkey. turkey is a totemic symbol of abundance and of shared blessings, among other things. i'd like to share with you all a little bit about turkey totem, because it's a wonderful totem and i think it's one that is often overlooked on account of the birds appearance. even i once judged this fantastic creature by its looks, but i've recently had a paradigm shift. here's what i've learned about the symbolism of this magnificent bird who humbly sacrifices it's life for our feast of abundance:

Wild turkeys are opportunistic feeders with broad tastes. They eat nuts, berries green foliage, grasshoppers, lizards, salamanders and more. The turkey can fly powerfully for short distances but has difficulty maintaining that power in longer stretches. For those with this totem it is important to learn how to channel their energy in a balanced way. Quick bursts of energy can lead to undesirable results. A person can tire quickly and have no energy left for other activities. Tai Chi or other forms of martial arts would be beneficial. In addition, variety in diet is advised for optimum health.

Female turkeys lay an average of 12 eggs. One plus two equals three. Three is the number of reoccurrence and those with this medicine often have reoccurring themes or situations to deal with in life.

The medicine power of the turkey is renewal. To the native peoples, the turkey was a sacred bird because of the abundance of them and because of their good tasting meat. Wild turkeys were an abundant food source for the early European refugees, as well as the native peoples. But uncontrolled hunting virtually wiped them out in several central and northeastern states. When reintroduced, they renewed their populations very rapidly, growing to many thousands. If turkey has gobbled its way into your life, its message may be that you need to cultivate and care for those renewable resources that benefit your life.

Wild turkeys were almost eliminated because they were taken for granted. Those with this totem need to remember that nothing is an endless resource if it is not honored and nurtured. Remember to ask yourself if you are relying on something in your life that you always expect to be there, but are taking no steps to treat in a sacred way? This can pertain to a human partner as well as a resource. If so, learn from the turkey and realize that everything has limits.

Shared Blessings.
The Turkey is the symbol of sacrifice. It gives life so others may live.

Many saints and mystics have Turkey as a totem.
With a Turkey totem, you have transcended the self.
You act and react on behalf of others.
This act is not a sense of moralism or guilt,
but a deep knowledge that all life is sacred.
What you do for others, you also do for yourself.

To have a Turkey totem is a true gift. Its gift may be spiritual, material or intellectual. Through giving to others will you reach your own goals.

The Turkey is linked to the third eye, the seat of feminine energies within us, and the center for higher vision.

Turkey is also the symbol of the Mother Earth and her abundant harvest. All of Earth's blessings and the ability to use them to their greatest advantage are part of Turkey's teachings.

petsmart proves to be pure evil once again.

Help a friend fight corporate greed!!!

The following is a letter that I got from my friend Chris, who is an awesome guy and is attempting to uplift the community.

November 19, 2009

Dear Clients, Friends & Neighbors,

As you know, we have just opened our new pet grooming salon, A Walk in the Park, at 3892 Wyoming at the corner of Gustine and Wyoming. This neighborhood seems a perfect fit for our salon. First, we live within the neighborhood and therefore appreciate the level of pride that exists and continues to grow here; opening a business at this location serves to deepen our involvement and commitment to our community. Additionally, this is an area rife with dogs and cats that are well served by the presence of a grooming salon. Many of you have expressed your enthusiasm at having pet grooming back in the neighborhood and for this we thank you. There are those who do not even own animals who have stopped in to welcome us and express their delight at seeing a new business, attractively presented, in their neighborhood where a vacant store front stood for nearly two years. We are grateful that the neighborhood has been so welcoming to us and supportive of our business venture, particularly in view of these economically trying times. However,…

WE NEED YOUR HELP!

A Walk in the Park is currently under attack. We hosted our Grand Opening Party on Sunday, November 8th from 2-6pm and posted that information on our website (awalkintheparkgrooming.com). At 2pm on that Sunday, in front of our guests, we were served by Petsmart’s attorneys. Petsmart, Inc. is suing us under a “non-compete” clause and threatens to shut our doors.

Chris Lee worked for Petsmart for 6 years beginning in October of 2003 and, in fact, signed a contract with Petsmart in order to obtain that employment. No counsel was given for explanation of the contract save the undeniable fact that a position would not be given without a signature. In good faith, Chris believed that since he had not worked at the Petsmart located at Kingshighway and Chippewa for over a year (he had been working in Illinois) that he had abided by any binding “non-compete” agreement that he had with Petsmart.

The suit brought by Petsmart claims that Chris was given Petsmart’s training and “trade-secrets” which he is now utilizing to unfairly compete with them. Our response is simple. Chris brought over 20 years of grooming experience to the table when he joined Petsmart. He had owned and operated his own salon in the Dallas, Texas area before moving to St. Louis in late 2002. Chris’ talents in grooming were utilized by Petsmart to teach its internal grooming “Academy” for the training of new Petsmart groomers and Chris was frequently praised for his superb execution of this training program above other trainers by two different District Managers. In short, Petsmart didn’t teach Chris anything about the grooming industry but, in fact, took advantage of what he was able to teach them.

Further, the suit claims that Chris had taken client lists which he is alleged to have solicited to the detriment of Petsmart. No such client list has ever been taken from Petsmart by anyone who works at A Walk In The Park. Undeniably, we are now serving clients who have been or are still customers of Petsmart. But, this has not come about through the theft and solicitation of mailing lists, client roles, or email lists. Of our clients with whom we have spoken on the subject and who have been or are still customers of Petsmart, we have identified four different groups.

• CONVENIENCE: First, many of our clients have simply come to us because we are conveniently located within this neighborhood. The only advertising we have done is to place a sandwich board on the corner in front of the salon. Additionally, we have taken an ongoing ad in the Tower Grove Heights Gazette the first of which has not even been published yet. We don’t even have a listing in the yellow pages. Obviously then, none of these people came to us out of some calculated direct solicitation of Petsmart’s clients.
• DEVOTION: There are a number of clients who have followed Chris because of his talents. This is the same as following a hair-dresser from one salon to another. If a person is happy, they will follow the service provider even if they have to hunt them down as some people have done with Chris. One customer followed him from South City all the way to Glen Carbon. Similarly, another customer has come all the way from Edwardsville now after locating him.
• SMALL-BUSINESS MINDED: Some people would rather spend their money in support of local small business instead of with large corporate behemoths.
• DISGUSTED: The final group of people who are now coming to Chris here at A Walk In The Park are people who have become disillusioned and fervently opposed to taking their beloved pets in to be groomed at Petsmart. I would like these people to tell their own story(ies).

Until this all happened, we were, like many of you, Petsmart’s retail customers buying our dog food there amongst other things. We have even been referring other people there for specific products. Obviously, we did not avail ourselves of their grooming services and equally as obvious, we won’t be spending our money there any longer or referring others.

Frequently, we all hear people in the media as well as politicians tell us that ‘the consumer is best served when there is real competition in the marketplace’. We believe that also. We believe that your pets are better served in this manner as well. If this suit is to be taken at face value, then it seems that Petsmart does not believe in this ideal. Is this just another case of corporate greed overriding concern for the well being of the community in which it is located?

Another thing we hear incessantly is how important small business is to the overall economy and how small business is the real driver of economic growth and job creation. Can it be that corporate bullies are reaching into this community and trying to restrict small business in order to protect what they believe to be “their markets”?

I am pleased to let you know that local attorney and incoming President of the Tower Grove Business Association, Jennifer A. Coke, located at 3187 Morgan Ford, has agreed to represent us in this matter. Jennifer is someone who has spent a great deal of time fighting Banks on foreclosure issues in order to keep our neighbors in their homes. We are very comforted that she is not afraid to go up against “the big boys” and brings a level of experience and confidence that is equal to the task.

I believe strongly that we can beat this lawsuit on its merits in a court of law. The law and legal precedence speak loudly when striking down such over-expansive language in non-compete clauses. In our case, as with others that have been won against Petsmart, Chris lives and requires employment in a city in which there are 13 Petsmart locations. This makes it virtually impossible for Chris to practice his trade (of 26 + years) anywhere within the city without crossing into one of Petsmarts “marketing areas”. Therefore by seeking enforcement of such broad terms, Petsmart is attempting to abridge Chris’ right to earn a living.

All of this having been said, let me finally get to the point of this letter. A protracted legal battle may have the very impact that Petsmart desires. Conceivably, the costs associated with this could drive us out of business. Although we are prepared to do what we must, we believe that there is another way to stop this whole thing. We must bring pressure to bear on Petsmart in order to convince them to withdraw this suit. In order to accomplish this, we must have community support.

We are asking you, our neighbors to speak up with your voices, your letters, your phone calls, your internet postings and blogs, and most of all with careful consideration about where you spend your dollars. I am including the names and numbers of Petsmart executives that we believe to be involved in this lawsuit, as well as the mailing address of Petsmart’s Corporate Offices. Also included is Petsmarts corporate “800” Customer Comment line. Please contact these individuals and make your thoughts and feelings known to them. Next, please spread the word. Talk to friends and pet owners. Mobilize your friends on Facebook, MySpace, Twitter or your favorite local blog. Hopefully, with enough support, Petsmart may come to feel that it is shooting itself in the foot and that this proud community which has worked so hard to make our neighborhood what it is will not tolerate this kind of stuff.

• Phil Benoist, Store Director, Petsmart, 4621 Chippewa St, St Louis, MO 63116
(Kingshighway & Chippewa) 314-776-7608
• Bob Wurth, District Manager, (800) 738-1385, ext. 6688
• Chuck Paul, Regional Director, (800) 738-1385, ext. 6790
• Customer comment/complaint line: (800) 738-1385, Menu Option 2
• Petsmart, Inc., Corporate Offices, 19601 No. 27th Avenue, Phoenix, AZ 85027

If anything in this letter has touched home for you; if you believe that this community deserves to have a grooming salon in its midst and that you as well as your pets are better served; if you believe that our small business deserves a chance to grow and thrive here in the community in which we live and are invested; if you believe that corporate bullies should not be allowed to squash competition in the name of shareholder profits or if you simply believe in the local benefits of having a clean, respectable, attractive and successful business on these streets instead of “FOR LEASE” signs adorning empty windows, then again we ask for your help.

In closing, I want to thank all of you. First, for enduring this very long letter. Second, for welcoming us the way you have. And finally, for the support I trust that you will extend to us now. On behalf of Chris, Megan, Melissa and myself, thank you, my friends and neighbors.


Mark Langevin
A Walk in the Park

—
Thank You so much for your business! If you have any questions or concerns please contact me.


A Walk In The Park Grooming
314-664-DOGS

glamourpuss? GLAMOURPUSS!!!!!

a while ago, my friend jessie and i were swapping lolcats via myspace comments every day. i just love lolcats. they have the power to make me forget my troubles, even if for a brief moment, and have a good laugh. i just love them.

one morning we were chatting via instant message and she told me about this website featuring cats who were modeling wigs. it was very cute and silly and gave me a good belly giggle.

time went on and i sort of forgot i had seen the website at all... until today when i was flipping through the newest people magazine...(yes i flip through people magazine. the law firm at which i am employed has a subscription, and when a new one arrives... yes. i flip through it.)...i noticed a review of a new book titled, "glamourpuss".........FEATURING SASSY KITTEHS MODELING STYLISH WIGS.

turns out the ladies who did the kitty wig website, julie jackson and jill johnson, have released a book.

i'm not entirely sure why these photographs of kittehs in wigs pleases me on such a profound level. it's a little bizarre, i guess. but i can't help loving it.

see for yourself: http://www.kittywigs.com

the originals

latcho drom

ladies and gentlemen, ms. mardi love......

i've always been a lone wolf....

now that i've been studying belly dance long enough to be considered a "good dancer", with one public performance under my belt, i've been asked by several different members of my class...

"so are you gonna join the troupe?"

or

"you're gonna dance with the group soon, right?"

and i always feel this sense of being backed into a corner as i quietly respond, "i don't know... i'm not sure yet... i don't know if i'm ready."

why this makes me so nervous has nothing to do with my confidence as a performer. what i am concerned about is getting mixed up in the politics involved with being a part of a troupe.

over the weekend, i attended a large holiday hafla event... troupes and soloists from all over st. louis came and performed in what is advertised as a "supportive" atmosphere. however, mingling by myself in with the crowd i noticed the opposite side of this coin. there is so much cattiness in the bellydance scene, i can hardly believe it. dancers are "stealing" other dancers moves, troupes are "dancing off" of songs other troupes commonly perform to... there seems to be a lot of back stabbing, a lot of shit-talking... i don't see how this is actually supportive.

this troubled me deeply. why do women feel the need to compete against each other? it's just another sad example of what patriarchal society has done to women. women are supposed to be naturally supportive, nuturing, and creative. but the rat race has oppressed this in us. women are forced to compete in the workplace, pressured to be the sexiest, skinniest, smartest we can possibly be.

how is this healthy?

long ago, women used bellydance for health and to learn about their sexuality. it is a beautiful, sensitive art. to see it turned into competition puts this masculine edge on something that is meant to be soft... seductive... graceful... accepting of a woman's body and emotions.

so i don't wanna get mixed up in a troupe. i don't want to be a part of the cattiness. i want to love myself when i dance, and love other women when they dance... i want to be friends with these women... i want to share this beautiful art with them in a nurturing and accepting way.

i'd rather stay the lone wolf i've always been, and be a soloist. the moon travels through the sky at night alone. i relate to the moon more than the constellations of stars.
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i've been mulling over what my dancer name should be.

last winter, after my first death dance ritual, i had a dream of giving birth to myself. around that time i was just starting out my shaman apprenticeship, and was just getting heavily into bellydance... so i felt like the dream was symbolic of this new creative, expressive, spiritual, dancing version of who i am. in the dream i saw myself in labor, and saw a baby emerge... babies in dreams are ALWAYS symbolic of new ideas, and because it was me and my husband alone in the room it was about myself and the most intimate and commited aspects of myself in the outer world and inner world. i felt like it was very symbolic of where i was on my path at that time. i dreamt i named the baby lulabelle, and decided after sharing the dream with my shaman teacher that lulabelle would be my bellydance performance name. it translates roughly to "beautiful warrior"... and i like the ring of that. especially since i am more interested in tribal style bellydance.

in life i have always felt like the moon in the sky at night. silently hanging above it all, observing... yet at the same time, influencing, what is going on around me. so i've decided i'm going to end my dancer name with "le lune".

"lulabelle le lune"

i think that has a nice ring to it.

energetic sense of growing

last week something had happened to my back that was causing me pain. i believe it was a combination of wearing high heels all day on halloween, a little bit too much effort in my hip circles in dance class, and the worst PMS i've experienced in a while.

something i've noticed since i started my shamanic apprenticeship under mary novak is that, generally, all of my pain and sickness is related to some sort of energy block in my chakras OR it's part of my initiation process. in case you don't know, when spirit chooses you to be a vessel, it fucking HURTS. and if you're chosen and you try to ignore it and sever yourself from this part of WHO YOU ARE AND WHO YOU CHOSE TO BE BEFORE YOU WERE EVER INCARNATED... spirit will kill you. or make your life a living hell, and then kill you after a while of same.

i don't really have any examples of spirit coming and killing a would-be shaman for denying their path... but these are the teachings. i didn't really want to accept this at first but i've done a lot of reading since i've started out and even experienced a severe bought of shamanic sickness in which my body was in intense pain for a week. i had shadows coming through the walls and was throwing up green and black fluid and had a severe fever which made me completely delerious. i was dehydrated to the point that my lips were cracking and bleeding and i could not swallow food for 3 days. when i finally could swallow food, it was only chicken stock, celery, and toasted pumpkin seeds that i could manage... everything else was disgusting... unimaginable.

my teacher, mary, came to me while i was still in the throes of this.. violent experience.. and did reiki on me to help me feel safe, and feel some sense of relief. she explained to me how this was the beginning of a series of shamanic "deaths" in which spirit would come and attack my body and i was to submit to spirit and experience the sickness by surrendering to what was happening and understanding that this was, in fact, an initiation. by denying any of this i may have died, or at least ended up in the E.R.

in effect, mary's reiki sped up the process of eliminating the energetic poison that was blocking up my ability to be a clear channel... i may have been much sicker for a much longer period of time had she not come to my rescue.

so now, once a month, i go to mary for reiki to help keep my body cleared. most of the time after a month has passed, i begin to experience some sort of malady which needs to be addressed with this type of treatment.

so with this back pain i was having, i kind of got the feeling that while i could probably pinpoint some physically tangible reasons that i was hurting, there was still probably an energetic issue that needed attention. i went to see mary on tuesday this week.

my deer... my sweet deer totem... came in while she was working on me, and i began to see a vision of a pulsing pure white light filling my body... it was as white as snow, and sparkly (ooooo sparkly!)... and when she was finishing up i began to feel my body stretching up... but i wasn't actually TRYING to stretch... it was as if my body were just... growing, some how. and everything stopped hurting. i guess the energy shifted and was re-aligned in my chakras, thus relieving whatever the blockage was that was putting pressure on my lower back.

it was an energetic sense of growing, so subtle, and so sweet... it brought tears to my eyes to feel this relief.

why not write about it...?

i've been thinking recently that maybe it would be a good idea for me to start blogging again.

long ago and actually not so far away i was livejournaling like a mad woman. i killed off a blog i was keeping for a while and started a new one in '05 and shortly after that i got rid of my internet at home and quit writing.

i quit writing, almost altogether. i wasn't even keeping a personal journal.

...and that's so weird. why? because i've been keeping a personal journal since i was a wee maiden, living in indiana and experiencing extreme amounts of teenage angst in the middle of nowhere. i guess it's just getting harder the older i get to look at the MIRROR that writing puts in front of me. can't i just... bottle all this up or pretend i'm not thinking or feeling this right now?

i guess not. i mean, i guess i shouldn't.

what i'm trying to say is... hello blog. i'm sorry i've been neglecting you. i hope you help me keep track of my thoughts, feelings, experiences, etc. once more. *hugs*

a gross one.

i am dreaming and i am at a weird camping retreat center that looks like it's in an underground catacomb of some sort. everything is extremely dirty and seems to be coverd in sewage. the wall and all of the fixtures are made of cement. i am there with my mom and my sister and we are sitting at a "table" that is also made of cement and is very dirty. a woman in medical scrubs is sitting with us and is wearing a stethiscope around her neck. she is also wearing an ID badge and i see that she has red sores on her face all around her mouth. i get up to go to the bathroom and it is EXTREMELY filthy with defecation smeared on the walls. i have to pee so i squat over the very dirty toilet, which has leftover piss and shit and toilet paper in it from previous visitors. as i am peeing, the toilet starts to talk in a female voice saying that it has reached the maximum fill level and starts to tip forward. i look down and i see that i am peeing all over the floor and the toilet is starting to spill out on the floor. i quickly evacuate and go back to the table. my old friend sprite is there now and i learn that the woman in the scrubs is actually her mother(although i have met sprite's mother before and this woman was not her). her and my mother start talking about something and i am distracted by sprite's presence. i don't feel good about her being there.

end of dream.

this reality is hard on dreamers.

what had been so clear at the time of my soul retrieval is now clouded with self-doubt. am i a healer? am i meant to be a witch-doctor in training? why am i not having dreams? why can i not give up my vices? why when i decide to give up my vices do things suddenly turn to almost complete shit? why does this drive me to drink? why do i want to be numb?

the world is crumbling around me and to find beauty in this seems impossible.

how many times do i have to experience the beauty in pain before i get a reprieve from the torture and the chaos.

i am so tired. he is so tired. the world beats our backs and we are on our knees, begging for relief.

we are all the same.

"Listen to the reeds as they sway apart;Hear them speak of lost friends.At birth, you were cut from your bed,Crying and grasping in separation.Everyone listens, knowing your song.You yearn for others who know your name, And the words to your lament.We are all the same, all the same, Longing to find our way back;Back to the one, back to the only one."

remember

i am dreamwalking in my apartment and i walk to the back door. i see a piece of paper has been taped to the window and the silohouette of someone on the other side. i can't tell who it is but i think it is my landlord. i feel a sense of fear and wake up.