my dreaming is back, and of course, he's back too. the sun. i've tried so hard to stop my dreaming, and quite successfully. my internal agony has been so intense that i just haven't felt like looking at what's going on in my psyche. plus the fact that he is almost always there with me now, in the night dreaming, and seeing him so often out in my waking dream, it just confuses me. i can't feel comfortable with it. i feel far too intense to be comfortable with it. and yet being around him feels totally safe, and totally natural. although my insecurities are, as usual, very apparent to me. the little demon trolls that like to taunt me and tell me things that make me feel bad about myself are hard at work.
it's difficult to navigate through a life where everything is perceived through feelings and form and not through intellect.
"one wants to be loved, in lack thereof admired, in lack thereof feared, in lack thereof loathed and despised. one wants to instill some sort of emotion in people. the soul trembles before emptiness and desires contact at any price." -hjalmar söderberg
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